Thursday, June 10, 2010

+ A Week ,, but still in Day 9 : The Tiny Door

Observation : You block your brain and only see the tiny door that gets you out ..
Illustration : Although you know that you won't get out soon ,, you think you're seeing the way out ..
Result : A Faulty Expectation ..
Conclusion : A dead end with nothing to lift you up , DISASTROUS SHOCK !

For the past 7 days I've been wondering around , working , studying , sleeping , ...... etc . putting in mind that in the upcoming near future I'll be done . I'll be done with the worries in mind ,, I'll be done with instability of life ,, I'll be done with the exhausting dreamless sleeps ,, DONE !!
Although if I would have just stopped for a glance , replaced the the quirky malfunctioning instantaneous human brain with my original full functioning one , I would have realized that I'm not even close to the way out . For sure , I'll be getting rid of a huge load soon , but this doesn't mean that I'm free , this doesn't mean that the coaxialsinosoidaldiffrentiocircular mind maze will be solved . This just means that I would have a little more space to think of a solution . The generation of the tiny door idea got me through the past week ( which is something that I don't regret ) , but the exaggerated expectation of mind relief that I built up inside my mind turned out to be a 100% false after reaching that tiny door causing a disastrous mental break down .

If your living through a hard time , your brain simulates your life as a sequential series of boxes arranged in an ascending manner inside each other . You reside inside the smallest box of your life and start drawing a door out of it , strive to reach it until you actually do , and that's when you actually realize that you're now in a slightly larger box , clueless about the door out . And the loop continues . ( Infinite Loop )
After realizing that this is the case ,, that you can't break the loop's code ,, that you'll always try reaching the imaginary door you draw .. You know by heart that you need a miracle to get out ,, and you wait ..

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Observation : Sinusoidal Malfunction ..
Illustration : Life Parametric Error ..
Result : Unstabilized Condition ..

"The natural pacemaker of the heart is the sinus node, one of the major elements in the cardiac conduction system, the system that controls the heart rate. This stunningly designed system generates electrical impulses and conducts them throughout the muscle of the heart, stimulating the heart to contract and pump blood."

Every single person has his\her personal pacemaker ,, a pacemaker that might change every now and then but is always there to regulate the "pace" of life . "For every action there's a reaction" , a reaction that wont always be spontaneous and even if it was ( ironically ) will always follow the pace of life .

Sometimes you might feel that recently ,, the harmony has been distorted ,, the symphony doesn't make sense anymore and that things haven't been following the track of life .. ---------> PACEMAKER MALFUNCTION

Unlimited reasons might cause such a condition and once you realize that your life starts reforming into the "vampire" like life you never thought one day it would turn to , a life thirsty for stability by any means whatsoever , weak and vulnerable . You start allocating all the available mind resources to work on building back the required stability ,, work on repairing the "pacemaker" of life ..

In your journey you will definitely suffer a lot ,, you might fall ,, you might breakdown . But you will always know that what you're searching for is worth dying for . PEACE ..